Writer's Block in Spring
I’m sitting at my computer trying to write. It's hot outside, a sunny day with a cloudless sky. Its that time of year where everything begins to come back to life as the dark and cold slowly diminishes. Flowers are blooming, their sweet and gentle aroma filling every inch of air I breathe. The ocean gradually changing to a warmer temperature, welcoming endless sea life and darling creatures. Mother Nature's happy dance coming alive and waking up half the world depending where you live on a map. It's no doubt a joyous time of year.
But, as I said, I am sitting at my desk trying to work, trying to write, and for the love of God I am losing my patience with these teeny tiny baby flies. Gnats, fruit flies, I don’t care what you call them, I’m going insane. I know every thing on this glorious planet of ours has a purpose but what the hell kind of purpose do these tiny specs of annoyance have besides well annoying me? I swear they're in love with me as they clumsily try to kiss my face, getting stuck in my eyelashes, lost in my mouth and hair.
The other day my nose was itching for hours, a real burdensome of an itch. I finally sneezed and out came a gnat, acting all innocent and hiding in there for who knows how long. I was in my car at the time and became plagued by it’s presence the whole drive home, bouncing off my face like a trampoline and flying dangerously close to all the holes in my head. I have become lord of the flies, or in this case lordess? Is that a word? Either way they should respect me, honor me and revisit the meaning of personal space.
I wonder, do they think? Do they know how much pain and suffering they cause me on a daily basis as I'm trying to write, as I pursue my dreams of becoming a writer? I can’t get any work done and I’m going broke. These tiny flies are keeping me from living out my heart’s true desires, from happiness and bliss, but mostly from paying my bills. Their sole purpose on this planet is to ruin my life and they are winning.
I feel threatened by their presence but what can I do? Google says apple cider vinegar will get rid of them, so I made a nice mixture of ACV and water. I put the concoction in an empty lavender essential oil spray bottle I used to calm myself down and sprayed my work area every six minutes just to be sure. Now my desk place smells like vinegar and I’m convinced all I really did was get them high and all around more cumbersome.
Are they plotting against me? I feel like they are plotting against me. Is my death the final stage of this torment? Where do they go when it's not warm outside? Where do they live in the winter when they are not bothering me? I will gladly buy you all a one way bus ticket back to that place. Like hell I'm buying you all plane tickets, you can already fly. Ok, fine yes a nice bus with a bathroom but that's my final offer just please go back to where you came from, wherever it is you hide during the colder months and stay there. I just shelled out six first class bus tickets to Cabo and oh God I just bought them all a tropical holiday. Sigh. I need a vacation. I wonder how Mexico is this time of year?